Playing with Myself

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Yes, Randy is an introvert. Yes, that is his actual name. Yes, he is awesome! How could he have not turned out that way with that mother and granny?! What are the different kinds of touch when pleasing yourself? Discover new ways, taking your time, negative messages and sharing your discoveries. Pleasing yourself I was 18 when I first tried. It was a super uncomfortable feeling. I think because I felt like it was a ‘dirty’ thing to do — even though the reason I was trying it in the first place was to familiarize myself with my body while I’m alone, so I’d be comfortable and know my body when I was with my boyfriend as our relationship got more serious. I just Googled how to do it. I moved past feeling dirty or embarrassed about masturbating, because I realized how comfy I am with my body now. I’m proud that I’m so in tune with myself.” —Jordyn, 19 When my mother in law comes to our house I like to get naked and put on my bathrobe and sit down in front of my mother in law and let her see my hard **. she 88 years old. and she just looks at it and when I see her looking at it it makes it harder.

Put your favorite dildo or vibrator on your bed and lower yourself down until you find a sensation you like — either penetration, clitoral, or both. Lots of scare stories have grown up around sexual self-exploration over the centuries. People are told that it makes hair grow on your palms, makes "real" sex unsatisfying, and that it's only for the sad and desperate. None of these tales is true, but the overall result of the negative messages around the subject is that masturbation is seen as a sad activity for desperate people, which shouldn't be valued or discussed. I loved reading about Randy’s childhood as the boy prince son of Gwen, and his Nanny’s adored grandson. Unfortunately, his father was a narcissist who couldn’t deal with the idea of Randy growing up and becoming his own person. Some women and people with vaginas prefer masturbation if they can feel something inside at the same time as they stimulate the clitoris – so try touching yourself internally or use a rabbit vibrator. 'If you now tighten and relax the muscles in rapid succession you will feel contractions of the kind that many women experience when having an orgasm,' says Webber. 11. Go at your own speed

My high school best friend, let's call her Hillary, approached me about masturbation. I was the expert on sex, as I had a bf and had gone down on him 1.5 times. I told her my technique (rub it 'til it feels good, don't stop) and she showed me that month's Cosmo. Find your best O ever - the G-spot. We read the article and she tells me she had tried with her fingers to no avail. We decide it needs to be stimulated with something more penis-like. We (mind you, we are VERY experimental 16 year old girls) decide to try it with hot-dogs that night at my house. My parents claimed they spanked my bare bottom because if they didn't spank me with my pants down, I wouldn't feel it enough. I wonder if I would have felt it enough with just my pants down over my underpants, but my parents wouldn't think so. My parents also spanked me on my bare bottom because they claimed that that way they could tell if they were injuring my bottom. I think my parents preferred to spank my bare bottom because they could see how red my fat, lilly white bottom would get when they spanked it. "We Spanked you on your bottom because you won't feel it there. You don't have a lot of feelings there.". It won't hurt you if we hit you there because of the fat. We are doing it because we love you. This hurts me more than it does you.

My father would say "I'm going to come in there and spank you if you don't be quiet and go to sleep". As the sexual tension rises, keep going. But do what feels right for you, as there's no hurry. 'If you have never previously masturbated to orgasm, you might suddenly feel tired and want to stop. Or you may be nervous about the build up of excitement in your body. Don't worry about this. Just take your time. And if you don't want to go on right now, then that's fine. You can always try again another day,' says Webber. 15. Enjoy the orgasmic rush Once you're nice and relaxed and you've explored yourself in the shower, dry yourself carefully, then rub your favourite lotion all over your body. 'Keep touching your body everywhere – it might be a good idea to stand in front of a mirror while you do it, so that you can get into the habit of looking at it and getting used to the sight and feel of it,' suggests Webber. 5. Romance yourself

Unfortunately, we do not have a G-spot in our anus like men do. However, we do have something called an A-spot. The A-spot is deep within the vagina, otherwise known as the anterior wall of the rectum and it has shared nerve endings. This means that when you apply pressure on your A-spot from finger penetration in your rectum, this can result in an orgasm. 19. Try anal sex toys. There are three key elements to this book: Randy’s love for his mother and grandmother, his lifelong love affair with musical theater, and his view of what he is trying to do with his social media persona. While the first two elements are the most fun—his mother and grandmother are a hilarious themselves, and he tells some great anecdotes about meeting and sometimes working with his theater idols—his views on social media are thoughtful and interesting. About 30 people from the local village, mostly teens but also women and kids, are standing in a group just staring at me. All burst into peals of laughter when they see my face. I just bolt, trying to outrun the shame, but the village kids are running alongside up on the dunes, and they have no trouble keeping pace, just pissing themselves laughing and doing wank gestures.

Overall, I loved, loved, LOVED this book. It was so much fun to read and even though I don't do audiobooks anymore, I could totally hear Randy's voice in my head. I wouldn't mind trying out the audiobook of this one sometime, just to hear him read his own memoir. Ultimately, though, I feel happy to have one reliable way to get myself off. I know from my experience as an educator that there are many, many others who have yet to find a way they like to do it. Perhaps you're feeling frustrated about masturbation, too, and you're looking for a way to get into it or enjoy it more. Maybe you already masturbate, but you're not feeling satisfied with your practice. Nipples are a very sensitive area of the body, and one of the key erogenous zones. When masturbating, experiment with your breasts and nipples to find out how (and if!) you like them to be touched. 'Relax, take your time and enjoy exploring this often under-appreciated part of your body,' says Sabat. 'In time, you may even find that you can reach orgasm through nipple play alone.' People enjoy using lube as it helps them to feel relaxed and can enhance pleasure. If you experience pain at all, it can also help during a fingering session as it reduces friction. Additionally, lube makes you feel wetter which can be great for vaginal dryness. I got shamed for crying "Big Boys don't Cry" you know, and told "If you cry I am going to beat you harder". Or I'll give you something to cry about.We did it for like two months pretty much the same formula - me naked them stroking. We were pretty comfortable doing it to ourselves but to shy and nervous to suggested touching each other. As a teenager I developed a serious Exhibitionism Problem. Fortunately nobody else but me knew about it. It would have been very damaging if it were discovered to my family who were public figures. Deborah Sundahl in her book “Female Ejaculation and the G-spot” explains that your G-spot’s “sensitivity can grow over time with awareness and increased skill” and that “the G-spot nerve also stimulates the bulk of the PC muscles to contract during orgasm, which aids in ejaculation” – so basically, don’t be surprised if there’s liquid when orgasming from G-spot penetration. 8. Try different fingering positions. To hep you get started on your journey to sexual self discovery we spoke to psychotherapist Christine Webber and sex therapist at Emjoy Mia Sabat about the benefits of masturbation plus 37 tried and tested tips on how to pleasure yourself: What is masturbation?

If you think you’re the only one of your friends who has masturbated, you’re most likely not. According to a 2020 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, about 50 percent of women aged 18 to 24 years reported masturbating at some point in the year. Separate research from Planned Parenthood found that more than 5 out of 10 adult women masturbate. So whether you explore solo sex and self-pleasure with your hand or vibrator, it’s perfectly natural and super common.

9. A not-so-happy birthday

The position gives you the room you need to insert your fingers or a toy in your behind with one hand while rubbing yourself with the other. This story isn't quite as funny as some of yours, but... One time, when I was about 12 or 13, I had the sweet idea of taking the seeds out of a cucumber, putting it in the microwave, and humping it. I was super excited about my new cucumber fleshlight. I start humping, but instead of pleasure, I felt burning. I put the cucumber in the microwave for too long. I had blisters on my shaft for several days. They were excruciating. Let me tell ya.. Gym class was a new level of hell for me." 2. An embarassing parent encounter It took me a really long time to figure out that I personally preferred this indirect type of stimulation — but you may love going to town on your exposed clit. Explore until you find a way that works for you. Since hands are the world’s most versatile sex tool, you can experiment with both broad and pinpointed stimulation. Using two or three flat fingers or even your palm disperses the pressure, and separating your pointer and middle fingers and pressing them alongside the vaginal opening can stimulate the deeper tissues of the clitoral legs.